I have not been having the best of times on US Airways the last few days either, but nothing like this. It’s great being a white woman! Even though a flight attendant on the las vegas to denver leg identified me as a disobedient passenger, she was never going to kick me off, despite my:

- asking if it was ok to switch seats on a mostly-empty plane and then actually going ahead and switching seats after receiving a provisional “yes” (”you really shouldn’t but I suppose you can” or, do you have any idea how much you and your request ANNOY ME?)

- attempting to use the restroom a few moments before the seatbelt sign blinked off

- missing the “turn off your devices” announcement because I was listening to my device, thereby necessitating a firm tap on the shoulder and even firmer verbal reminder.

Yes, despite all this naugtiness and several ominous pre-flight announcements that non-compliant passengers could be removed from the plane, I am a white woman and the flight attendant was never, ever going to remove me. I am, however, easily shamed. I slunk back to my seat after the unsuccessful restroom attempt and watched while several other passengers made their way down the aisle more successfully, seatbelt light on all the while. You know who else I did not tattle on? The man next to me who *also* missed the turn off your device announcement and hello listened to that very device throughout the entire landing! And what about the sweet couple travelling with their puppy who let the little guy, tres drugged, out of his below-seat travel pouch to sit on their laps(s)! Wait! I am not indignant about that last example! In fact I *helped* disguise the illegal puppy-on-lap situation with strategic placement of pillows and fake magazine reading! White people hijinks! And that’s the point of this post: I am a white woman and will not be kicked off a plane in the United States, ever! So long as I continue to do all my typical white-womanish stuff, stuff-behavior which is recognizable to flight crews on US Airways, and also to my fellow passengers. (The whole reason I moved seats was b.c. I managed to annoy the guy sitting next to me. He wanted my aisle seat I think? And also to talk and drink together and I wasn’t feeling so cooperative.)

I’m also here to tell you that US Airways has sold to Splenda all that prime-time advert space on their tray tables. The part of the tray table you see when it opens out ‘for service.’

“Take flight,” the tray tables on some US Airways planes read, “with Splenda!”

Ok and you know what else? Their in-flight entertainment consisted of the same 45 ‘Cranium’ board game questions and answers on all four flights I attended (attended?) in the last four days.

November 21, 2006 * 1:42 pm

November 3, 2006 * 5:29 pm

November 3, 2006 * 4:22 pm

November 3, 2006 * 4:11 pm

November 2, 2006 * 8:33 pm