Who’s In Control of My Stupid Brain? Department: perhaps the reason I STILL have not called to cancel this catalog is so that I can catch myself thinking things like, “Well, if you’re going to _______ ity ______ blank, at least these kangoo jumps and anti-cellulite sneakers cost a lot less than plastic surgery.” Then I call my sister, ask if she’s received the catalog yet and listen to her utter a remarkably similar thought. Then we hyena-laugh together.

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